Return of the Jedi
Return of the Jedi is the sixth installment in the Star Wars saga. Quotes * Wicket: (off screen) (speaking Ewokese) * Barney: Somebody's working. * (cuts to Wicket selling Christmas trees on Christmas in springtime) * Wicket: (speaking Ewokese) * Miss Etta: Is that the best tree you've got? * Wicket: (speaking Ewokese) * Miss Etta: Tell me about it. * Wicket: (speaking Ewokese) * Miss Etta: It has no needles. That's a used Christmas tree. * Wicket: (speaking Ewokese) * Miss Etta: Well, if that's all you've got, forget about it. (leaves) * Wicket: (speaking Ewokese). (stops Miss Etta) (speaking Ewokese). * Miss Etta: Yes, I would. If that's all there is, I'll take it. You deliver, right? * Wicket: (speaking Ewokese) -- * Miss Etta: You do wanna sell it. * Wicket: (speaking Ewokese). * Miss Etta: Well?? * Wicket (speaking Ewokese). * Miss Etta: I'll take it. Follow me home. * Wicket: (speaking Ewokese)! (starts delivering and carrying Christmas trees, but stops right here) (speaking Ewokese (goes back to delivering and carrying Christmas trees) ** Kathy: BJ, what'd ya have for lunch today? ** BJ: You know what I had for lunch today? A great, big pickle sandwich. ** All: (except BJ) EWW!! ** Shawn: BJ, why do you like to eat pickles?! ** BJ: Because pickles are my most favorite food in the whole wide world!! ** Luke Skywalker: BJ, don't you like healthy foods? ** BJ: Yes, Luke. They make us big and strong. ** Bertille: Well, I bet you can learn more about them. ** Barney: Yes. Let's go inside. ** (all cheer and go inside) ** Gianna: Hey Sir! ** Biker Scout: Hi Gianna! ** Biker Scout: Would you like to hang out with me? ** Gianna: Yes. ** (After the Barney theme Song we cut to a park with Whitney and The Emperor's Royal Guard playing.) Whitney: This is sure going to be fun, Guard The Emperor's Royal Guard: It sure is Whitney Whitney: I sure like playing on a sunny day The Emperor's Royal Guard: Me too (The Barney doll comes to life) Whitney and The Emperor's Royal Guard: Barney!! Barney: Hi Guard! Hi Whitney! The Emperor's Royal Guard: We sure had a lot of fun! Barney: That sure is nice Guard you made alot of friends! Whitney: So, Barney what are you doing today? Barney: Well, Whitney we're going to the grocery store to learn about grocery shopping. (Baby Bop arrives) Baby Bop: Hi Everybody! All: Hi Baby Bop! Baby Bop: What are you doing? The Emperor's Royal Guard: Baby Bop, we're going grocery shopping you're welcome to come with us. Baby Bop: I sure do, Guard. ** (we cut to the grocery store, a mysterious figure wearing a dark cape and mask appears before Barney, Baby Bop, and the kids enter as well) Barney: Well I will steal from here fucking assholes. (Barney steals and is arrested) Baby Bop: So Guard, what's on our list? The Emperor's Royal Guard: What we have on our list on is eggs, milk, and apples would you like to help me Baby Bop? Baby Bop: Yes, please The Emperor's Royal Guard: Thanks, Baby Bop! Whitney: Why is there some fucking mask wearing creepy person in the store? The Emperor's Royal Guard: Don't cuss in here Mysterious voice: Buy some weed! The Emperor's Royal Guard: You seriously shut up behind that bathroom door! Mysterious voice: I persuade to get some weed The Emperor's Royal Guard: Me and Baby Bop come here to buy what is on our list so no we are not buying weed or any drugs from you, so go away! (cuts back to the caboose) The Emperor's Royal Guard: You did great helping me Baby Bop! ** Baby Bop: Thank you and Guard you're a very nice friend. The Emperor's Royal Guard: Aww! hey Whitney you heard what she said about me? Whitney: That's very nice of you Baby Bop me and The Emperor's Royal Guard are your friend Baby Bop: Thank you, Whitney Whitney: You're welcome Baby Bop: Um, where are you going? The Emperor's Royal Guard: Baby Bop, me and Whitney are going to our old playhouse to play some games would you like to come with us? Baby Bop: Yes. (We cut to Baby Bop, The Emperor's Royal Guard, and Whitney walk to their old playhouse at night) Baby Bop: It sure is going to be haunted The Emperor's Royal Guard: Don't worry Baby Bop, there's no ghosts and if you're scared you can hold my hand and walk with me It's going to be fine I'm always here with you! (The 3 enter the house and they find out that the lights don't work, the 3 walk down the stairs Baby Bop is shaking with fear and crying) Baby Bop: It's too scary I won't go in the basement! (The Emperor's Royal Guard comforts her) ** The Emperor's Royal Guard: Don't cry Baby Bop! it will be fine trust me there's no monsters or ghosts! (The 3 enter the basement and a mysterious voice is heard) Mysterious Voice: You cannot see the eternity of light but there's no turning back! Baby Bop: What is that voice? Whitney: Baby Bop, It's only me talking to The Emperor's Royal Guard! Baby Bop: But there is someone down here The Emperor's Royal Guard: Baby Bop, you're OK there's nobody here it's just an imagination I'm still here to protect you, you don't have to worry about anything there's no Baby Bop: (In between sobs): There is a monster down here, Guard I don't want to come to this house please I'm scared I want to leave here! The Emperor's Royal Guard: Shh! It's going to be OK you don't have to come with us if you don't want to you're just having a nightmare the voice you hear down here is only me I'll try to keep you safe. Mysterious Voice: This is no nightmare what you hear is real, but I order you to step forward and discover that there's always eternal darkness but you can retrieve your friends by saving your little one from an eternal death that blacked the world many years ago, so please reveal where the voice comes from! (Baby Bop runs out of the basement crying, while The Emperor's Royal Guard catches up to her) The Emperor's Royal Guard: Baby Bop! hey you're fine you can stay with me it's only me I'll stay close to you here I'll light a candle would that help? Baby Bop: No, It will scare me I just want to stay here and you can go without me. ** (after the song, "I Can Laugh", Barney and the Backyard Gang laughed, then it fades to the next scene where Emperor Palpatine and Michael are at the kitchen table at night) ** Michael: What is this? ** Emperor Palpatine: It's Salisbury steak. ** Michael: I hate it. ** Emperor Palpatine: No, you don't. You had it last week and you loved it! ** Michael: No, I didn't. I hate the brown stuff. It's gross. ** Emperor Palpatine: Okay already. It's onions and gravy. (cuts the Salisbury steak into little pieces) ** Michael: I'm allergic to onions. ** Emperor Palpatine: No, you're not. You had it last week and remember I told you it's my favorite. When your dad was little, you said it's your favorite, too. ** Michael: No, I didn't. ** Emperor Palpatine: Yes, you did. It's regular hamburger. Take a bite, it's delicious. ** Michael: (tries to eat the piece of steak) Blah! ** Emperor Palpatine: What's the matter, Michael? ** Michael: I think I'm going to be sick. ** Emperor Palpatine: No, you're not. You need to eat your dinner. ** Michael: It's yucky! ** Emperor Palpatine: It is not yucky, Michael. Eat it. ** Michael: No. I want chocolate chip ice cream. ** Emperor Palpatine: No, Michael. You need to finish your food right now. ** (Michael gets up from the dinner table) ** Emperor Palpatine: Where you going!? Hey! Get back here right now, Michael. ** (Michael gets up on the chair) ** Emperor Palpatine: Michael. Get down from that chair or you're grounded for 2 days. ** (Michael opens the freezer and takes out the chocolate chip ice cream) ** Emperor Palpatine: Put that ice cream back in the freezer, Michael. ** (Michael gets down from the chair, with the chocolate chip ice cream) ** Emperor Palpatine: Michael, do your hear me?! ** (Michael sits back down) ** Emperor Palpatine: Hello? Are you listening to me? ** (Michael opens the box of chocolate chip ice cream) ** Emperor Palpatine: Hey! All right, I'm warning you. If you take one bite out of that, you'll be grounded for 2 days. ** (Michael takes a scoop of chocolate chip ice cream) ** Emperor Palpatine: Uh! ** (Michael is about to put the chocolate chip ice cream in his mouth) ** Emperor Palpatine: If you put that ice cream in your mouth, you'll be grounded for 2 days. I am not going to say it again. I am not going to say it again. I am not- ** (Michael puts his chocolate chip ice cream in his mouth) ** (Emperor Palpatine picks Michael up) ** Michael: (yelling angrily) Ow!! You're hurting me!! (he kicks Emperor Palpatine) ** Emperor Palpatine: (yelling angrily) Ouch!! Stop kicking me!! ** Michael: (yelling angrily) I HATE YOU!!! I HATE YOU!!! I WANT MY MOMMY!!! ** Emperor Palpatine: (yelling angrily) You're grounded for 2 days!! (he sends Michael to his bedroom) You're being a bad boy! You are staying right here in your room, so there'll be nothing for you!! ** (Michael crying with lots of tears) *** Emperor Palpatine: Oh, my! Something in the classroom is going on here! Come, BJ!! *** (he comes into the classroom with BJ. When the flour smoke clears, they see the kids and Antonio covered with flour) *** Emperor Palpatine: Uh-oh! (yelling angrily) ANTONIO!! *** Antonio: Look at me, everyone!! I'm a snowman!! (laughing) *** (the other kids look frustrated) *** Antonio: I'm funny, huh, guys?!! *** All (except Antonio): NOOOOOOOOOO!! *** Baby Bop: (wakes up) Oh, there's too much noise in here. I'm going to the bathroom. Maybe there I can feel all better. Ishtar. *** Ishtar: Yes, Baby Bop? *** Baby Bop: Can I go to the bathroom? I have the diarrhea. *** Ishtar: Sure. Why not? *** (Baby Bop goes to the bathroom) *** Gail: Uh-oh! *** Carlos: Now we'll never get our apple pie! *** Emperor Palpatine: But Antonio is going to take a 2 hour timeout. *** Antonio: Huh?! Just for being funny?! That's not fair! *** Emperor Palpatine: Some pranks are funny! But not this one, Antonio! You have caused confusion! You had caused an flour explosion! You will have a time out for the next 2 hours! *** Antonio: (horrified) 2 hours?! Palpatine, no, you cant be serious! *** Emperor Palpatine: Yes I am! Go there now! *** Antonio: Yes, sir. Category:Star Wars